


The Most Boring Blind Date on Earth

by roommes



Category: One Piece
Genre: Corazon on fire, Modern AU, Sibling bickering, nosy Lami, protective Corazon, sick-of-their-bullshit Law, where Lami and Corazon are still alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 23:38:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6446794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roommes/pseuds/roommes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Law has a blind date and Lami & Corazon decide to tag along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Most Boring Blind Date on Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Slight KidLaw but only if you interpret it that way. Cross-posted from my tumblr.

She crossed her arms and leaned on the counter, watching her brother check his pockets for the umpteenth time that night and then disappearing into his room, only to reappear minutes later with a checkered handkerchief. For a moment, he looked slightly confused at the fabric in his hand, as if he couldn’t comprehend why he had decided to find a handkerchief and he turned to her, mouth ajar and a frown on his face.

“Do you think I should bring a handkerchief?”

She shrugged, a grin slowly creeping onto her face. “For a blind date, you’re awfully nervous, brother. Whatever happened to ‘it’s just a blind date and I don’t care what happens’?” She asked mockingly, using her fingers to make imaginary dramatic inverted commas, as her brother shot her a scowl and decided to toss the handkerchief onto the kitchen counter.

“I do _not_ care, Lami.”

She didn’t buy it, and he probably knew that too, judging from the way his scowl deepened as her smile grew. Their guardian appeared from behind Law, as he peered anxiously into his ward’s face. For someone who’s _not_ going to a date, he was more antsier than her brother. He started dusting Law’s clothes until the younger boy had to swat his guardian’s hands away.

“I’ll be fine, Cora-san! Stop babying me,” Law half-shouted, moving out of his guardian’s reach. Corazon gave him an apologetic look. “It’s just a blind date.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Corazon replied, raising his hands in surrender. His face softened as he lowered his voice shakily. “It’s just… you’re growing up so fast.”

The two teenagers both let out a sound crossed between an embarrassed squeak and a frustrated groan, and turned away from their guardian. Corazon had the tendency to be awfully sentimental and it was, quite frankly, _very_ embarrassing. While Lami did enjoy embarrassing her dorky brother for kicks, she didn’t appreciate to be sharing the experience, and the second-hand embarrassment was just as uncomfortable, if not more.

“Okay, I’m leaving now,” Law finally said, but not before he pointed an accusatory finger at his sister, his eyes narrowing as he continued with the most threatening look he could muster (but let’s face it, she wasn’t fazed by it even by a slightest bit, although she did pretend that she was). “And you better not be following me, Lami. I know you.”

“Who would want to crash like possibly the most boring date on Earth, brother? _I know you_ ,” she repeated the words back to him and he flashed her a finger before disappearing out of the house, right as Corazon gasped and started his lecture about how they as siblings should be nicer to each other, because he regretted not doing so to his own brother… or something like that. He tended to get very emotional when talking about his brother and Lami didn’t like seeing her guardian so broken so she never asked.

She rushed to the window, pulling the curtains aside and watched as Law entered the car and started to buckle up. He glanced over at the window where Lami was, and he pointed two fingers at his eyes and then to her, indicating that he was watching her, and she rolled her eyes slowly, hoping that he could still see it despite the distance between them. If he did, he didn’t show it as he pulled out of the parking lot and drove down the street. She waited for a good ten minutes before she went back to her guardian who kept shuffling his feet worriedly.

Grabbing her outer coat, she lifted her hand in a fist bump towards Corazon and said, grinning widely, “So we ready to stalk my brother?”

* * *

 

Out of all the restaurants her brother could have picked, he had to choose the lamest one in the neighbourhood. It wasn’t even remotely close to being romantic enough for a blind date for goodness sake. They may be orphans but they weren’t _that_ poor so he didn’t have to be so cheap to be bringing his date to a place that could be just slightly better than a fast-food restaurant. Oh gods, she was so ashamed of him right now. After tonight, she decided that she really needed to drill the basics of wooing somebody in that stupid thick skull of his, that was apparently only filled with information on how to dissect a human body.

“This place looks decent,” Corazon commented beside her as he pressed the button on the car remote, earning him a beep that signalled the doors are locked. “At least it’s family friendly.”

“Yes, but it’s not date friendly,” she whined as she crept to the hedges surrounding the place and peeked through the full-length glass windows, looking for her brother. Corazon crouched down beside her, but considering his ridiculously gigantic stature his head was still visible, and she had to whisper furiously for him keep his head down, making her poor guardian curl sadly into a ball, or as tiny as he could make himself.

“Do you see him?” He asked, shifting uncomfortably beside her.

“Found him!” Lami alerted him softly, and started to creep along the hedges. Corazon followed after her, having to crawl on his hands but still his black furry coat was too high and visible. The younger girl groaned as she suddenly stood up. “Okay, no more creeping. We’ll just pretend this was a coincidence, since this _is_ a family restaurant to begin with.”

She helped her guardian to his feet and dusted his knees lightly for him, before taking his hand and dragging him to the entrance. Law was sitting with his back towards the entrance, so she spoke loud enough for him to catch her voice. “Table for two, please.”

She had expected her brother to turn around with a glare but he remained steadfast in facing the other direction. She did notice his shoulders tensing slightly and she bit back a smile. The waiter was about to lead them to a table behind Law’s, and she quickly requested for a table _in front_ of her brother instead. As she passed her brother, she kept her eyes trained on his face and put her biggest shit-eating smile on. Law’s eyes flickered to hers, a trace of annoyance burning in them, before he looked away. While she was determined to stare impolitely at him, he was also determined to avoid her gaze instead.

“So what would you like to have, Lami?” Corazon asked as he started to browse through the menu the waiter had left behind while giving subtle glances to his other ward.

“You decide,” Lami replied absent-mindedly, as she started making funny faces at her brother, emphasising on the ones that she knew often made her brother laugh. Despite her brother focusing on not glancing her way, she didn’t miss the subtle twitch of his lip as he tried to hide it by taking a sip from his glass of water.

“Lami,” her guardian started warningly, and she finally returned her attention to him. She gave him her most innocent puppy-eyes, a look that he couldn’t resist, and he gave a sigh, reaching over to tousle her hair. “Fine, I’ll order for you while you keep watch over Law.”

“Thanks, Cora-san! You’re the best,” she said, grinning widely as she started to tidy up her hair. An idea popped into her mind, and she took the chance to voice it just when Corazon called the waiter over to place their orders. “I think I’m going to introduce myself!”

Corazon spluttered and tried to stop her but she was already skipping towards her brother. Law’s eyes widened when he noticed her approaching them, momentarily forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to be looking at her. She stopped at their table, giving a quick wink to her brother, before turning to face his date. The guy was bulky, his t-shirt tight around the chest and hugging the muscles that quivered whenever he moved. His hair was fiery red, scars running down the left side of his face, as he raised a non-existent eyebrow at her. She actually knew him from school although not personally, and she knew he was a grade lower than her and was notorious for being rude and boorish. No wonder her brother had been set up with him, it had to take a rebel to get along with a cynical person like her brother.

Despite that, she stuck her hand out towards him, her smile never faltering as she introduced herself. “Hi, I’m Lami, and I’m your date’s sister.”

“Yeah I know you,” the younger male replied gruffly, as he stared at her hand as if she had went to the toilet and had forgotten to wash her hands. “You’re a grade above me.”

She withdrew her hand in a slight frown, before resuming her bright megawatt smile. “Hey, not bad! You’ve done your homework. Are there any other things that you’ve researched about my brother too? Like how many tattoos does he have and if he has one down-”

There was a loud clink, and she jumped back to notice that there was a growing wet patch on her blouse. Her brother picked the toppled glass up, placing it upright and returned a smirk to her. “Oops. Maybe you should _go home_ and have a change of clothes?”

Thankfully it was only water or she would be so mad at her brother for ruining one of her favourite tops. “Oh don’t worry about it, brother. Too bad you had forgotten to bring _that checkered handkerchief_ of yours. It would be so useful right now,” she replied sardonically, enjoying the slight blush on her brother’s face. “Oh well, talk to you boys later!”

As she headed back to her table, she overheard his date scoff out a “You still use a  _handkerchief_?” and laughed to herself. She slid into the booth, seating herself beside her guardian smoothly and shot him a thumbs up.

Corazon shook his head exasperatedly and handed her a napkin. “You really shouldn’t tease your brother like that.”

“Can’t help it, Cora-san. Everyone’s talking about how lucky am I to have a brother like him but look at him, he’s the biggest idiot I’ve ever known,” she said grumpily as she started dapping at the wet patch on her blouse.

Corazon gave her an affectionate smile. “You don’t mean that.” He then leaned in over the table and whispered, “So how’s his date? Does he look like a good person?”

Before she could reply, she was distracted by a flurry of movement in her peripheral vision and she looked up to see two teenagers waving back at her. She recognised them as Shachi and Penguin from her brother’s close circle of friends, and she waved back. Apparently she wasn’t the only one who had decided to spy on Law’s date. There was a new guy beside the two, and she recognised the long blonde L’Oréal-like hair that was the envy of a lot of girls. It belonged to a friend of Law’s date and she snorted at the absurdity of the situation. Somehow this date had ended up as a hotspot for teenagers tonight.

There was a click of a lighter, and Lami returned her attention to her guardian. He was lighting up a cigarette nonchalantly, and Lami swiftly swiped the stick from his mouth, before he could successfully light it up.

“This is a non-smoking place, Cora-san,” she hissed. “What are you doing?”

Corazon’s eyes widened for a second, his finger frozen on the lighter before he laughed. “Right. Sorry, I was too nervous I forgot.”

But the damage was already done. Right in front of her eyes, like always, her guardian’s coat caught on fire, and yet he sat there and continued laughing awkwardly at his forgetfulness. She took the cup closest to her and threw the contents over the small fire. Sadly that was also the wrong choice because she had used Corazon’s cup.

“You’re drinking wine when you’re driving?!”

Unfortunately, her guardian was unable to reply her as the fire flared up in a burst. Corazon shrieked as he fell out of the booth, and started rolling on the floor as an attempt to extinguish the fire. In the process he knocked over a waiter with his long limbs and plates and bowls fell to the ground with a loud crash. There was a lot of shouting and somehow the fire grew even bigger, as Corazon started thrashing wildly on the ground. Lami could never understand why her guardian had always insisted to wear a coat made out of flammable feathers, but then again, Corazon had a talent of setting _anything_ on fire. The waiters and the surrounding patrons started fussing around Corazon, trying to douse the fire but that godforsaken coat just refused to let go of the damned fire.

She shot a glance at her brother, who was very calm despite the chaotic scene playing out in front of him. His date had turned himself around and was staring bewilderedly at the crowd, as his gaze shifted from Corazon to her and then back to Law. He said something to her brother, who merely shrugged and continued eating the rice in front of him. She smiled amusedly at her brother’s denial and finally hopped off her seat. She walked to Corazon, and skillfully pulled the coat off him, throwing it a distance away from them. The fire exploded again and within a few minutes, it reduced the coat to a pile of ashes.

Corazon gaped at his coat, his face falling as he mumbled depressingly to himself, “I like that coat.”

“We’ll get another one,” Lami said automatically, without thinking. Some things never change.

* * *

 

“So,” she started, as soon as her brother closed the main door behind him. “How was the blind date? Will there be a second one?”

Law narrowed his eyes, moving swiftly past her. “What do you think?”

“Well I think it went superbly, don’t you think so too?”

Law replied her by slamming the door very loudly.


End file.
